Half The Time

Half the time I wake to a cold sweat and my stomach clenched like a life line I can't let go of my alarm goes off and a panic washes over my body. I'm the only one who has to wake up to have a nightmare. I watch myself step by step like a phony horror film, do you know how hard it is to watch my very own slaughter? Most people would keep themselves awake at night but it's my reality, my saving grace is when I fall asleep if I could swap my days for my nights, my fears for my dreams... there I go again.. Wishin' and hopin' that time could stand still that my feelings could stand still that the words racin' and pacin' through my head could stand still! The other night I dreamt I had insomnia, I woke up exhausted yet too well rested to go back to sleep and it goes like this, every day is blurred together, the only things I can remember are the days back in December, (The 27th to be exact) that's when my heart was fully intact but knowing me I lacked the ability to react the right way and she cracked and fell away and to this day I still regret all the feelings that I kept inside of my locked chest you were the best thing that's ever happened and she said that "shit happens" but those are only lyrics to a song I gotta keep strong and keep truggin' along if I want you to see that you and I belong. Fuck.