This is garbage

There's a voice inside me
That screams through my bones
It sends chills down my spine
It takes over my mind
Saying
"I love you!"
"Please Come back!"
"My body is numb.."
"You have what I lack!"
Nobody can hear it
I walk around like it's not there
I'm constantly looking over my shoulder
My body is getting colder
You had my life in your hands
My soul, my mind, my heart
The art of healing
And dealing with this anguish
Is like a different language
That I don't want to learn
I'd rather burn through my skin
Than turn and 'take it on the chin'
Right now I'm walking through hell
Making friends with the Devil
Just to pass the time
The climb is killing me
With every step I take
I start to sublime
Until there's nothing left of me to hold
And you may think this is a game
That I'm just some name
An old flame that never got the spark
To start a fire
At night I'm wired
Supposed to be tired but I'm awake
I shake; my stomach aches
I'm trying everything not to break
Because you don't know what you do to me!
You don't care how I feel
Or if I heal
You don't hafta deal with me
But I would tear my heart out
If you said you'd be impressed
And that's the difference between us
My nerves go wild everytime you call
My stomach knots over nothing at all
I wanna say FUCK YOU
Because I still LOVE YOU
I'm tired of writing this trash
That these people think they know
It's getting slow around here
I haven't seen your face in this place
For weeks
I may be sad but no part of me is weak
Except for my knees when you're around
I'm what you've always wanted
I'm what the other girls all promised!
But they would fly away
You'll never lose me to the wind
If you would just listen to me
Hear my cries in the lines I write
My silence on the phone
Speaks volumes
But you can't hear it
So it echoes through my chest
I guess this is just another test...