What a trip

2008

JANUA​RY:​
Who kisse​d you on new years​?brittney

Did you have a New Year'​s Resol​ution​ this year?​yeah i dont remember.

Does it snow where​ you live?​no way

Do you like hot choco​late?​huge fan.

Have you ever been to Times​ Squar​e to watch​ the ball drop?
I wish!


FEBRU​ARY:​
Who was your Valen​tine?​brittney

Do you care if the groun​dhog sees its shado​w or not? no

What did you recei​ve for Valen​tine'​​s Day?a lot of stuff!


MARCH​:
​Are you Irish​?im nto sure.

Do you like corne​d beef and cabba​ge?​no

What did you do for St Patri​ck'​​s Day?i dont remember

Are you happy​ when Winte​r is prett​y much over?​noo keep it here


APRIL​:​
Do you like the rain?​i do

Did you play an April​ fool'​​s joke on anyon​e this year?​i think so

Do you get tons of candy​ for Easte​r?​yes

Do you celeb​rate 4/​20?​no thanks

Do you love the month​ of April​?​april was a horrible month for me


MAY:
What is your favor​ite flowe​r?​lily

Finis​h the phras​e "​​April​ showe​rs…"​-Bring may flowers.

Do you celeb​rate May 16th:​​ Natio​nal Pierc​ing Day?-Didn't know that was a day to celebrate.

Is May anyth​ing speci​al to you?no


JUNE:​
What year did/​​will you gradu​ate from high schoo​l?​2010

Did you do anyth​ing fun durin​g this month​?​ not really. the girl i loved left for boot camp and never came back.

Have a favor​ite baseb​all team?​​Not really.


JULY:​
What did you do on the 4th of July?​moraga cmomons wit hannah and katy

Did you go to the firew​orks?​Yes.

Did you blast​ the A/C all day?probably

What else did you do in this month​?​went to OR, IL, TN and san diego.


AUGUS​T:​
What was your favor​ite summe​r memor​y of '08? um... july wit shawty

Did you have a sunbu​rn?​no.

Did you go to the pool a lot?nota big swimmer


SEPTE​MBER:​
Are you atten​ding colle​ge/​​schoo​l?​im in HS

Do you like fall bette​r than summe​r?​no

What happe​ned this month​?worst month for me in a while.


OCTOB​ER:​​
What was your Hallo​ween costu​me?​Didn't have one.

What is your favor​ite candy​?​m&ms

What was your favor​ite thing​(​​s)​​ about​ this month​?​halloween


NOVEM​BER:
​Whose​ house​ do you go to for Thank​sgivi​ng?​linfoots

Do you love stuff​ing?​i do

Anyth​ing speci​al in this month​?​basketball started


DECEM​BER:​​
Do you celeb​rate Chris​tmas?​yes

Have you ever been kisse​d under​ a misle​toe?​When I was younger haha

Get anyth​ing speci​al last year?​yeah.

What do you want this year?​nothin really

What do you love most about​ Decem​ber?​basketball

Let's Compare

So I don't know how I want my hair to be. Ever since I cut my hair last february, these are the style I've had. What should I stick with for a while? Should I do the one where I have a flip and can wear hats? or the shorter style thats more of faux hawk? or straight up mohawk? Tell me what you guys think.

STYLE ONE:

STYLE TWO:

STYLE THREE:

How deep is your love?

It's True

Tonight really showed me that I was never really MAD at her. I was sad. I was hurt. But I didn't wanna admit it. I also realized that we were the past. She's happy now and that makes ME happy. I mean it. I needed tonight. I did... To finally speak face to face without any of the bullshit or anything. So, thank you. Good luck with everything, Bil.


I'm not mad anymore it's impossible to ignore the roar in my head used to just stay in bed as tears shed sayin I was mad at you couldnt admit I was sad I drew a picture in my mind hoping to find a cure I couldn't endure it was torture i was insecure immature till today when I found the meaning of it all didn't think you would call didn't wanna fall for a trick but you came and I'm lame kinda ashamed of how I acted but became more distracted when we spoke about her and my memory's a blur but I'm happy... From day one all I wanted for you is to be true and persue a love you ju8st knew you could jump into and it took me this long with many hard days under a haze of what I thought I felt thought they dealt me the wrong cards but I see you and me can be happy as friends and I know I don't make sense I'm jambling all my words to condense my feelings of intense gratitude for putting up with my attitude i know tonight it didnt look like I took this very well but I spent some time to dwell and I know this is right I love you but as a friend you can depend on me we can spend time finally just like it used to be thank you for loving me.

All Smiles

CAITLIN FUCKING LUQUET IS HOME!!!!


oh my gosh no one knows how excited I am! I woke up this morning at about 9:30 and I was dead tired! My dad left to go pick up some pies for later today and I decided to spend my morning in bed (it's the only morning this week I've gotten to sleep in). My friends were texting me "Happy thanks giving" and all that hoopla and I got up to go on the computer. My bestie buddy wuddy, Caitlin, called me and was like "Dude get up. My dad is bringing you over your birthday present like right now, so get dressed." So I put on sweats and was looknig for a shoe when the doorbell rang. I was super excited for my present =]. I looked to see who it was and I opened the door and CAITLIN WAS THERE!!!!!

Oh my gosh, I was in shock. I didn't know what to do hahah I wanted to tackle her, I missed her sooo much. She came inside and I was soo happy. I'm still extremely happy. What a jerk lol, she had me believing she wasn't coming home till Christmas and she totally surprised me! It definitely made my day. My week. Pretty much made my life haha.

I plan on spending almost every free second I have with her this week until she goes home, which I think is on Monday. I was planning on being all alone the rest of the week minus going to basketball practice haha but not anymore! Damn, I'm so happy. I really needed this. I needed her to come home and she did and I am so happy. So fucking thankful!

I love ya buddy wuddy!!

Peace in yourself

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines

he wrote a poem

And he called it "chops"

because that was the name of his dog

And that's what it was all about

And his teacher gave him an A

and a gold star

And his mother hung it up on the kitchen door

and read it to his aunts

That was the year Father Tracy

took all the kids to the zoo

And he let them sing on the bus

And his little sister was born

with tiny toenails and no hair

And his mother and father kissed a lot

And the girl around the corner sent him a

Valentine signed with a row of X's

and he had to ask his father what the X's meant

And his father always tucked him in bed at night

And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines

he wrote a poem

And he called it "Autumn"

because that was the name of the season

And that's what it was all about

And his teacher gave him an A

and asked him to write more clearly

And his mother never hung it up on the kitchen door

because there was new paint

And the kids told him

that Father Tracy smoked cigars

And left butts on the pews

And sometimes they would burn holes

That was the year his sister got glasses

with thick black frames

And the girl on the corner laughed

when he asked her to go see Santa Clause

And the kids told him why

his mother and father kissed a lot

And his father never tucked him in bed at night

And his father got mad

when he cried for him to do it

Once on a paper torn from his notebook

he wrote a poem

And he called it "Innocence: A Question"

because that was the question about his girl

And that's what it was all about

And his professor gave him an A

and a strange steady look

And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door

because he never showed her

That was the year Father Tracy died

And he forgot how the end

of the Apostle's Creed went

And he caught his sister

making out on the back porch

And his mother and father never kissed

or even talked

And the girl around the corner

wore too much make-up

That made him cough when he kissed her

but he kissed her anyway

because that was the thing to do

And at 3:00am he tucked himself into bed

his father snooring soundly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag

he tried another poem

And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"

because that's what it was really all about

And he gave himself an A

and a slash on each damned wrist

And he hung it on the bathroom door

because this time he didn't think

he could reach the kitchen.

Speak your mind even if your voice shakes

Do you ever sit and think, what if? What if you had never said the first hello? Or what if your paths never crossed? What if you kept your mouth shut and just let things pass? What if you had just 5 more minutse... What if you could turn back time and make it all stand still? Where would your life be? Better? Worse? Less confusing? More? Happier or sadder? ...Just, what if...

When I was young and free my imagination had no limits. I dreamed of changing the world;

As I grew older and wiser I realized the world would not change.

And I decided to shorten my sights somewhat and change only my country. But it too seemed immovable.

As I entered my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I sought to change only my family, those closest to me, but alas they would have none of it.

And now here I lie on my deathbed and realize (perhaps for the first time) that if only I'd changed myself first, then by example I may have influenced my family and with their encouragement and support I may have bettered my country, and who knows I may have changed the world.

--Written by an Angelican Bishop--





In life there is always going to be that one person you'll never forget. The one who you just happened to cross paths with. The one who you know you wouldn't be the same with out. Even if you just met them or have known them your whole life... They leave an impact on you and you'll never forget it.

You Choose

You can laugh

I'm on my dad's computer cause my laptop got a virus haha. That would happen to me. Anyways, I was looking through the pictures and I found a lot from the past year. Check 'em out!

Sometimes It's harder to face ourselves then to face the world

To everyone who's ever told me I won't make anything of myself. That I'm a waste or a failure. Here's to you:


I wish you knew who I am today instead of from the memories that you've washed away you won't let yourself think back everything's gone black you've lost track of yourself how can you look at me and and disagree with everything you once knew time flew and there's no rewind so i grind my teeth and bite my tongue ive hung myself from the very last word of the very last letter, "I hope things get better" i cant forget her i forget to forget it, how ironic, i admit. but i commit not to spit lines that don't fit but im split in two make me whole fill the hole in my soul so i know im not alone turn around and i've found im a rebound, hows that sound? kinda outta bounds, but im not trippin keeps you from rippin out my heart im not slippin i'll keep guard and my heart hard only scarred once it was one to many learned my lesson like a tool got played like a fool but ive been just as cruel but i've realized real eyes see through lies so i dropped that habit couldnt stand it wouldn't have it so ive grown up took time to mature and i assure you my new heart is pure if you only knew me now you'd think "how?" but you'd be like "wow.. ow owww" haha just messin but you'd see my progression if you'd open your eyes i wont say "told ya so" cuz i know how that goes wont throw it in your face we can erase the past replace it with our future as we suture up the emptiness you're too proud to look at me for who i've become numb to my words wont succumb to my tries to make you realize who i am. If you saw who i am today, maybe you'd want to stay.

Walmart

It was the type of quiet that twitched like fire
Silence
it was the tic tic tic tic before the bomb
but without the bomb
or the tic
well they looked me over
their parental lenses 5 ft thick protection from the glare
of the mutated form that was once
their sweet, little daughter
They wore their smiles like condoms
I curled myself into the least viral form I could think of
held back a cough and asked for a glass of water
Silence here, but in their eyes
"This ain't no Jerusalem girl, ain't a Messiah here gonna go feeding no lepor"
Silence
"You're 25 years old where the fuck's your diamond ring?"
Silence.
"Ain't no wonder they look at you. Wash your hair take that metal shit outta your face
You dress like you're livin on the streets for fucks sake and why the
hell are you sittin like you got a cock between your legs?"
Silence.
"Ain't no wonder you don't have a ring
Oh we're not saying just any boy will do...
You're not brigning home no spick no nigger no hippie no jew
no long haired faggot flippin his flaming little wrist,
I'll tie him to the fence myself."
Silence.
"Oh, now look at you. Acting like you're all scarred
like you've been doin some hard time cause you ain't got your
mommy or daddy to call and bawl about some bitch gone and broke your heart."
Silence.
"You and your fucking heart
I woulda torn it apart years ago if I'd have known you'd use
it to put this family through hell.
You got somethin to say to us just fuckin bag it do you have any idea whats it like
for us to walk through walmart with the whole town knowing out daughter's a faggot?"
You mean Dyke. "What?"
You Mean Dyke and I've got she's got we've got the 12-in cock harness and ready to prove it
Do you think i've got 5 minutes to waste in the race towards your white picket fence
right-winged pedophile preacher finish line?
I don't think so
Your ignorance bores me and I wouldn't suck a dick-a real one-anymore than I'd take
a ring from some prick you thinks my clit sits a foot inside my body give me a break
I'm gonna wait to descend to the sea
Water falls a women spillin over me and her sexy self
dancing in the volt of my lines
of my outstretched thighs
until our two bodies one
beat down all you've ever done or ever will do
with your righteous republican sanctity
I don't believe in your goodness with your should thats and should this
I'm so tired of even wasting my breath my ink on this shit
I just wanna shut my mouth now or maybe roll my words over smooth and easy
over a perfect picture of beautiful because there is so much beautiful
but I can't touch it becauase your ignorance keeps dismembering every
piece of patience I have left
and I cant keep waking up every morning remembering a
front page clipping of a boy from Wyomming
who had his face stained red by the hands
of two products who tied him and beat him and left him for dead
and when they found his body through all the blood
the only clear skin left you could see on his face were 2 streaks
down his cheeks that his tears have washed clean
and that might be a crime you would never do
but there's killers and preachers and teachers and neighbors
like you so don't fuck with me
I was your sweet, little girl when you were sweet to me
so don't expect me to listen to your version of right
I got ears of my own I've spent years on my own
you say one more thing i dont like you say one more thing i dont like
I'm drivin to walmart myself hangin up a 50-ft billboard that says
"Mark and sherly's daughter, andrea, is a fucking dyke!"

--Andrea Gibson--

Sometimes People Are Beautiful.

...Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.


"I told her bout the couple I saw earlier

She said,'I'm sure they're cute

But they're no you and I"

A realization that the founding principle of our existence is what we call love, which works itself out sometimes not clearly, not cleanly, not immediately, nonetheless ineluctably.

If you're always looking for reasons not to be with somebody, you'll always find them, and I guess at some point you should let go and give your heart what it deserves.

Do you think about me now and then?

"What if I ripped apart your heart at the seems, maybe then you'd know how I feel."