There must be a name for it

What ever happened to genuine happiness? People are so far gone from it, that we've actually created this false illusion of it; each person with his or her own idea of what it is. We've started to compromise our happiness. You make your first compromise and it isn't so bad... Things happen, you need to make sacrifices. The second compromise you make makes you a little uneasy... But you go through with it because you don't think you can do anything else. And it goes on and on just like this, in a vicious circle, and you end up with nothing even relevant to what you started with. But people hold onto it for their dear lives because it's the closest thing they have to happiness, and if they look at it the right way, squint their eyes and view it from the side, they can pretend it's what they want. They believe it's what they want. But then there are those few who realize they can't fake happiness so they go with the next best thing. They're not happy but it's the closest thing they have, so they run with it and they don't look back because of the fear that they'll realize the mistakes they've made. So if you think you're happy-live with a fake conscience of what happiness is... Are you happy?

What about when you start to do things to make other people happy? At first it feels good to know you made someones life a little easier. You're proud of yourself. Then someone new asks you for soemthing and you do it because you remember how good it felt the first time. It's almost the same thing as compromising you're happiness. You give and you give but you get nothing in return. But you're satisfied with that because you can't forget how you felt the very first time. And eventually you end up less then okay.

See... I can't figure out how to say what I'm trying to convey in this blog. I had a conversation with someone today and it really hit me... Do things that make you happy. It seems like such a simple concept but no one ever seems to really grasp it. Stop fucking around... Happiness is such a horrible thing to waste... I don't know... That conversation just really opened my eyes.


"Don't regret what you said. Regret what you didn't say when you had the chance."