Nostalgia hits and it's time to quit

She doesn't understand she kicked me out for her man I was ban for the span of my sophomore year couldn't stand couldnt talk couldnt walk with me now she comes to me blaming pain on me "why can't you see?" see what, mom? The hatred in my eyes from hearin all your lies "you dont hear my cries." well you don't see my tries I've grown wise to you dont do what you want me to you're surprised? I've been wearin this disguise and now you clearly see what's inside of me always stuck in the middle figurin out this sick riddle dont wanna get outta bed i wanna lay here instead go ahead spread your stories turn this whole town against me cause I know when I leave you're gonna wish you didn't miss me make my brother turn his back give me the cold shoulder but as I grow older my heart simultaneously grows colder I'm thinking back to the times where I was a kid and you were mine I'd scream and whine till I had nothin left I'd still shine in your mind we had a song how'd it go? it was too long ago i've retraced every blow every high every low every top and below every seen and unknown all my life I've been different not as good as you wanted my brother got flaunted while I got taunted i was defeated and daunted fast forward 2008 you're sitting here telling me you relate you want a clean slate but you still deny this great weight i wont wait for an answer god forbid an apology don't wanna push you too hard but the toughest part to bare, you're probably unaware, is it's too far gone to repair i try not to despair but its hard when you're not even there when you are it's unfair you take your anger out and you tear me apart but i still care. I still fucking care where you are how you've been and what's new what should I do? You taught me to be true but your view is askew it's sad but its true I cant trust you i wont bring myself to fall this time I'll rise above it all.