Tell me that you love me even if you don't

I should've stopped would've stopped couldn't stop haven't stopped running in this circle of the mess i did create gave up on fate practically jail bait didnt wanna date didnt wanna wait thought I could find a perfect soul mate turns out they don't exist when you're trying to enlist yourself in this game it ain't the same it became a huge joke one after the other under the covers wake up to discover she's not my lover so I recover with a new one same thing different night it's a constant fight trying to ignite the excite it doesnt feel right I write her off and it goes like this sheilding my heart from getting ripped apart you had it down to an art but I got smart it wont happen anymore my inside core is no longer a floor girls can walk all over wore my heart on my sleeve till I learned they all leave no longer naive not gonna believe them when they say I'm their only one I dont like this cycle i feel washed up and used leaving them all confused and bemused wondering when I'll come back everything goes black i wake up in a cell tryin to scream and yell nothin comes out cuz I've finally trapped my own self to adapt to this life and this style its been a while since I've smiled I feel ugly and vile put me on trial i'll do my best to impress the judge hoping the jury aint holdin no grudge on the way I've acted the past 7 months i've been distracted trying to find where I belong every right turn was wrong why?, ive lost myself like a suicide denied my feelings lied to myself tried to convince me this was what i've been missing done lookin for love in all the wrong places different faces different cases give me the basis of how to live right and I promise you it'll be alright.